Introducing... and all things DMV

I realize I left some of y'all hanging when I announced we put Ghetto Fabulous down.   So, to answer your questions, here is our newest automotive family member:

Black Velvet 

(if you please)

Black Velvet ("BV") is a 2009 Hyundai Santa Fe.  Jason is now behind the wheel of Night Rider. So far, BV has proved herself very useful and a much more enjoyable ride over Ghetto Fabulous (RIP).    Two weeks into our relationship and the features I'm loving the most include:

Some call it a plastic cargo mat.  I like to refer to it as mobile diaper changing station.

The ipod connector that charges the ipod while it plays!  Emma is also a fan of this feature since she can now request politely (whine) for kids music.  

Zack Morris Timeout: Some of you might wonder why DJ requests are a new phenomenon for Emma.  Well, Night Rider's CD player broke like 5 years ago, so Emma has been stuck with Fox News on XM for the past 19 months. Time in.

And of course a big pro for BV is that she is homegrown:

I have to say I'm extremely grateful for this little jewel that has now joined our family.  I hope she gives us lots of good, reliable, and safe rides for the next 10 years!  And thank you Shannon for yet another fitting name for her!

Now, what do you do after buying a new car? Head to the DMV...

Since we don't "buy" cars around our house often (actually EVER in our 6 years of marriage), I was at a loss concerning all the necessary next steps I needed to take in order to get her registered, insured, etc.  But, I knew she needed a tag, so Emma and I headed to the DMV.  That is where I learned that the DMV and this:

Don't mix.

I should have known we might have problems after a stranger in the parking lot stopped to tell us to "come back another day."  Undeterred, we walked into Homewood's DMV satellite branch and lasted 20 minutes in line before abandoning our position.  

What happened?  Well, of course, the line was long and of course the people in the line were frustrated. None of these facts shocked me.  It's the DMV! What appalled me, and I mean truly jaw droppingly shocked me, was what Emma managed to do--both with and to--complete strangers in less time than a Cosby Show episode.  While we waited in line, Emma managed to:

1. Sit on a stranger's foot;

2. Crawl on all fours on the floor;

3. Lay on her belly and pretended to swim by flailing her arms and kicking her legs (these motions were strangely coordinated and gave me pause to be impressed with her before experiencing the full body shiver of disgust);

4. Eat cheerios off the floor (which a stranger felt the need to point out to me and then watch to make sure I extracted the germ ridden "O");

5. Hang off the metal "monkey bar" hand rails and then suck her thumb; 

6. Shriek continuously for a period of no less than 3 minutes; 

and

7. Stand in front of and stare directly at the crotch of the woman in front of us.

At that moment, I gave up, raised my white flag and packed up our goldfish, toys, sippy cup and other ineffective kid equipment I had lugged in for entertainment. The cheers of the others in line were faint, but nonetheless audible, as we reversed our way out of line.  Noticing that we were leaving, Emma stopped crying immediately and substituted her tears with "Bye Byes" and big waves to everyone in line.  BV was patiently (and taglessly) waiting outside for us as we approached...empty handed. Thank goodness I returned, sans the public linoleum swimmer, and purchased BV's tag later that afternoon.

Never again folks, never again.