Pray

Not blessing the food.  Not the rote, unthoughtful offerings for parking places or the like. Not the empty pleas for something to be fixed. to go my way. immediately.  Instead, what happened, to real, fully prostrate, knee scarring, vulnerable, intense moments of prayer?  I tell myself that it is because I am too busy. Too many people depending on me to do my job, so they can do theirs.  And then, I read this.  In part it says:

“It’s my own inflated sense of self-importance, the elevation of my work, of my agenda, that keeps me from prayer-communion.”

...

“That’s called idol worship. I don’t pray enough because I’m practicing idol worship.”

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Really? Why didn’t someone tell me that all my excuse making was nothing but a cheap cover for idolatry?

...

Since when did I begin thinking my contribution to the world was so significant — uncrumbed counters, unlegoed floors — that I was so necessary, that I couldn’t stop, slow, still and commune with Jesus?

And I feel the twinge of conviction.  Tears of sadness well up in my eyes.  The author must know me.  She must watch my life. My selfishness.  But as soon as the burning in my gut appears, the river of Grace pours out in my heart like a broken dam.  He continues to make me new.  To restore me.  To restore my family. My children.  He is so much more important than I will ever be.  And all He wants is to know me. 

Imagine that.

And He promises I will KNOW Him more fully, more wonderfully, more divinely if I just take the time He gives me, and spend it with Him.  

So, if you've got a minute, I'm sure you will enjoy reading the post in its entirety.*

*I have not vetted the linked blog. Accordingly, I'm not endorsing any other material found therein.  But something tells me it is all encouraging and inspiring.